Is it alright that the (re)start point of my faith is because of my want for my family to have abundant lives? I want them to have joy-filled, purpose-filled, blessing-others, weather-the-storms kind of lives that I know for certain God – and only God – can give.
It just feels dishonest (to be honest), because I know – and God knows – that my motivation is not from a strong personal desire, like the rekindling of an old fire, or a personal spiritual revival of sorts. My motivation is, simply: I have something I want to ask of God.
Incidentally, that something is for my family to have in them a strong personal desire for God that will lead to said abundant lives. But seeking the gift over the Giver? For shame.
I am reminded of fathers in the New Testament who’ve made requests to Jesus in behalf of their children. By God’s grace, none in my family are sick now, so the seriousness of our requests may not be of the same caliber. But they did go to Jesus not for themselves, but because they had a request for their family… so is this… okay?
I hope so.. I think so.. Our approach has two elements that I know God desires in his people: Surrender (I cannot do this…) and Faith (…but I know You can).
Maybe the rekindling of the fire will come later on. My ask is not a one-time request: it’s day to day for as long as I am alive. So I will keep on seeking Jesus, I will keep on surrendering, listening and obeying His instructions, I will keep on believing. Then, as He keeps his promises, as He does all the great things he does, as He shows me and I begin to understand his love… maybe, maybe there’s hope for me too.