The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. (‭1 Timothy‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬ ESV)

I struggled as I thought about this passage.

There have been times when I have felt, encouraged, even aspired, to be in some sort of overseer role in the Church. To serve so that others may be able to exercise their spiritual gifts to the fullest.

But, just as a few posts ago, I am afraid. I fear that because of my immaturity I will disgrace Christianity, that I will cause people to stumble. I fear I might already have.

Why so easily defeated? When God is sovereign above all things? When there is already forgiveness and victory in Jesus? When there is great power in the Holy Spirit?

Well… I am immature. I need to grow.

Also, I might be approaching this the wrong way. I am focusing too much on the Task, when I should really be focusing on the Task-Master. My strength and my willpower will fail, and I will face discouragement if I focus only on the task. My focus should be on God. To be “a man after God’s own heart”.

It’s interesting that the chapter ended with “The Mystery of Godliness”.

Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory. (‭1 Timothy‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ESV)

I have no idea what it really means, but it’s interesting for me that this mystery of godliness does not talk about how we should talk or act or think. Godliness is about Jesus, and that’s a comforting thought.

• Hear
• Tell
• Awake
• Lament
• Be Ashamed
• Fast
• Call to the Lord

As the saying goes, “short term gain, long term loss.” At this point I don’t know the consequences of the tribes’ request, but it seems like they are “settling”..

Settling for second best? There is an eternal gap between God’s best and man’s best.

Though we shouldn’t be quick to judge the tribes of Reuben and Gad – I know it’s easier to trust what you can see and can (seemingly) control, than what you cannot see and cannot control. It’s right there, this will do. Why go through all the hard work?

Moses, truly a leader, considers the effect of this request to the other tribes. They might see this as a way to escape the difficulties they know they will have to face – even though God is the one who will do most of the actual work. He is afraid that the unbelief of the fathers has been passed down to the children, and another generation of Israelites will not be able to claim the promise. 

After the tribes assured Moses of their intention to fulfill their responsibilities to their Israelite brothers, Moses accepted and gave in to their request.

I wonder how this decision will turn out later on.

This morning my son woke up early. He was just lounging in the living room half-awake as I was getting ready for work. As I went up to the room to say goodbye to my wife, I heard the bathroom door open, then the toilet flush. Next thing I saw was my son going straight to the living room and about to eat with his hands. “Wash your hands after you go to the toilet”, I reminded him.

Then things got weird. He didn’t want to wash his hands! I have no idea what was going in his little head, but he was so vehemently against washing his hands. I stood my ground and said, “Son, you have to, you don’t want to get germs in your tummy. You’ll get a tummy ache”. We went back and forth like that, and I was so dumbfounded why we were even having that exchange. 

I went from asking, to pleading, to eventually commanding him. I thought, no matter how much I explain to him, at his age he can’t comprehend the reasons and consequences. He probably will not get sick if he doesn’t wash his hands today, but he needs to develop the habit – even if he doesn’t want to. I also needed him to learn to obey me, because there will be times when I will tell him to do something (for his safety, for example) and will need him to obey – and to obey right away.

Eventually, him grudgingly and crying, I washed his hands. He was still saying “I don’t want to”, and kept repeating “but why?” Then, almost as fast as it happened, he calmed down.

The reason I am writing this now is because of how much I can see similarities with my relationship with my son, with my relationship with my Heavenly Father..

1. I disobey, and want my own way, many times for no logical or valid reason. It’s weird. I’m weird.
2. I don’t always see the consequences of my actions, inaction, disobedience, etc. Especially if it is long-term. And even if it is explained to me, I would deny or disregard it. What’s wrong with me. 
3. God is patient, and He deals with me in stages. Not always gentle, not always harsh, but He will adjust according to my situation and the severity of the consequences. 
4. God desires for us to have a good and abundant life, and He knows far more than we do. If He has to personally guide us to obey, he will. And He did – through Jesus. And He still does – through the Holy Spirit. He is a hands-on Father. 
5. It’s all about love. Not once did I feel anger toward my son, even though my voice might have sounded angry. The whole time I was thinking about his well-being and how much I love him. Don’t misunderstand God’s discipline as anger. He is angry at sin, not at us.
6. Our relationship is stronger after this. Maybe it’s a small thing, but it’s a step in the right direction. 

As I was typing this, I got a voice message from my son (thanks to my wife of course). He said, “I’m sorry Daddy, I love you.” I sent a reply right away, “I love you too son”.

I’m sorry Lord, I love you..

I almost didn’t do my quiet time today.. I just feel really unnerved, annoyed, maybe even angry. But God brought me here, and I’m very thankful.

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul! I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. (‭Psalm‬ ‭146‬:‭1-2‬ ESV)

There an ongoing trend of sincere, happy, joyful Christians. They are putting out music, books, films – very creative and passionate people. It’s quite inspiring. This verse reminds me of them… and maybe who I was? Who I can be.

Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish. (‭Psalm‬ ‭146‬:‭3-4‬ ESV)

Very timely for me. As the next verses say, my help and my hope is, and should be, on the Lord. Creator, Judge, Provider, Savior, Healer, Restorer, Protector and Defender.