To be honest, I haven't been consistently right with God for the past few days, weeks, and months. My life is a crazy mess. Which would be fine if my crazy mess of a life has no consequence to other people. Unfortunately and to my shame, until I get myself together I am messing up their lives as well.
It's the perfect word, "mess". It's really only by grace that we are surviving day by day, that my life is not falling apart, and that sometimes, there are even really really good days. These are all completely undeserved.
Now I am presented with a great opportunity: To experience, once again, the kind of changes that happen when I recommit and persevere in "seeking first God's kingdom and righteousness".
I feel ashamed that, after all this time, after all the times God has proven Himself faithful and powerful, I have come to this low point of my life again.
But at the same time, I feel excited. I know that things will turn out awesome. I know it.
But I have to do my part.