I’m reading the @YouVersion plan ‘UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders’. Check it out here: http://bible.com/r/19H
Day 2 – Uncommen Words of a Husband
Proverbs 10:14 – “Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.”
I’ve learned that one of the worst things a husband can do, is make wrong assumptions regarding the way his wife feels and thinks.
This usually happens in the beginning of the marriage, when you both discover new things about each other that you’ve never seen nor experienced during courtship. And then, again, a few years later into the marriage, when you think you already know your spouse – without considering that people grow and change over time.
My wife and I used to talk all the time. When we were much younger we used to spend hours on the phone just talking about anything and nothing. She would also write me these well-crafted letters, and I would write back (to my shame, nowhere near as creative as hers). Then came unlimited texting, instant messaging, video chat, you name it – we went through and used all the technological innovations along the way.
Marriage changed the dynamic, for sure, especially as work became more demanding, and with raising two young kids. In time, our conversations became more and more – practical.
There came a point – and it happened a few times as well – sometime last year to this year, that we found ourselves saying to one another, “I don’t know you anymore.” It sounds bad, but it’s more of a mutual observation, really. It was an eye-opener to both of us that we’ve become somewhat different people since we got married. I think, this is one of the causes of our (not so often) arguments in the past – in our minds, we were talking to the same person we knew 10-20 years ago.
With that wrong assumption, foolish words were exchanged.
Wisdom, then, is storing knowledge about my wife, so I may keep myself from saying foolish things.
So how can I store up knowledge? (Is there a download button?)
The way to do this, is to create a comfortable, safe, love-filled, and grace-filled environment for my wife to open up to me (again). I can do this by making adjustments to my work and work style, so that I will have energy left for my time with my family. I should help out more with the kids and with the housework. If she’s too tired, or if there’s no more time, then we won’t be able to talk. Then, I should encourage her to share, not only what she did that day (like we’ve accustomed to) – but also her thoughts and feelings throughout the day.
As I (re)discover my wife, I will not only gain wisdom, but I will also be able to bless my wife and my children as well.
Like the devotional says, Happy wife – Happy life. 🙂